Who are you?

Caterpillar: Who… are… you?

Alice: I- I hardly know, sir. I’ve changed so many times since this morning, you see…

Caterpillar: No, I do not ‘C.’ Explain yourself.

Alice: I’m afraid I can’t explain myself sir, because I’m not myself, you know.

Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: Well, I can’t put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn’t clear to me.

Caterpillar: You? Who ARE you?  – Alice in Wonderland 1951

For teenagers in the world today there is a lot of pressure on us to be somebody, to know who we are and exactly what we are doing in life. Because of this, teenagers can feel just as confused about their identity as Alice.

When I was 11 I loved Patti Smith. I had a poster of Patti Smith in my room and I knew all the lyrics to every song on the Horses album. I was obsessed with this persona that I strived to achieve. Whilst my 1970s punk addiction was good for fuelling my moral structure, it also could’ve been potentially harmful.  I think it’s easy for teens to model themselves off people they look up to. But is it a good thing? Sometimes people get so caught up in trying to be their heroes that they lose themselves in the process and develop an image of idealised self that can be impossible to achieve. It’s like teenagers get put in a box, we can either be one way or the other and we forget that we can be in between. Everybody has an in between like the caterpillar goes into the chrysalis and emerges as as beautiful butterfly.

I think something that’s important to teenagers in this day in age is to become someone that’s popular and has a status. What’s interesting to me is the way we go about it. If you think about everyone who is successful and famous they are that way because they did something unique and individual. Take the Riot Grrrl movement for example, they took something they were passionate about and used their own personas to turn it into something big. I find it interesting that teenagers use mimicking other people as a way to succeed in life when really the best way to succeed is to find their own original self.  When people follow the masses it turns something that once was powerful into something that’s contrived and try-hard. Whoever is the edgiest is most successful.

I wanted to know why kids my age find it so hard to find their sense of self, and why it means so much to us. So I emailed our school guidance counselor, Lyndon Coppin, about it and what he had to say really cracked the chrysalis for me.  “At High School certain options present themselves and maybe we are inclined to follow a group norm or style in order to belong. It sucks to be alone at secondary school and so we search for belonging and some sense of identity results from those decisions and relationships.” Lyndon’s polite typing read perfectly in my head, teens like to run in packs and it’s not fun to be a loner, teens can often use different identities as a shield to defend against feeling like an outcast.

We all know that teenagers are made of two minute noodles, mood swings, and staying up too late. But when the powers that be came up with this recipe they left out one simple ingredient, self confidence. Teenagers feel the need to wear a lot of different costumes because they fear being their true self. But being yourself is hard, there’s so many stereotypes so it’s easy to be “type cast” so to speak. It’s like there’s no middle ground and no one can just be a mixture of things, they have to be one way or the other. It’s also hard to have self confidence when school puts us in an environment that’s very focussed on competing to be top dog. Something I come to find a lot of young people struggle with is comparing themselves to others around them, especially in this day an age where everyone is connected 24/7 through social media etc. What they don’t realise is that social media creates a false reality, the people you’re looking at only post the interesting things. I mean, I don’t post a photo of myself lying in bed with a double chin, eating an entire box of Shapes and watching Geordie Shore, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Finding yourself is a never ending journey, you’re always growing and changing as person. So take a plunge down the rabbit hole and explore the world just like Alice.

By Lily Shaw

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